Here we are again...September 11th. 20 years ago, on this day, I got the phone call that I had dreaded getting all night long the night before….”Tammy, we found Trent.” He was about 100’ below the water in Jamaica’s Blue Lagoon, still hanging onto his underwater scooter, and it appears something had struck him on the back of the head while he was free diving. And he didn’t survive. He didn’t make it. He was gone.

Whewwwww….I haven’t been able to type much more for the last few minutes just staring at this computer screen. My eyes can’t hold in all the tears. I re-read “He was gone,” and it just hit. It can still hit hard all these years later. And even though I’ve walked with God through the healing process in my life all these years, I still feel the void of Trent’s impact on my life often.

So here I am today, 20 years later. I won’t lie, when I close my eyes it seems just like yesterday. But I know I’m NOT that same girl standing on the edge of the water praying that my life wouldn’t change. But that’s just it, everything was about to change and God knew it and He needed it to change. He needed MY life to change in order to bring Him Glory and the highest Honor and sincere Praise for what He was about to do with my new life, through my brokenness and pain. And Trent’s life, once again, was a huge part of that plan.

But wow, I have fought Him much of the way because change is hard and trust is hard and not listening to Him and making my own decisions was easier. I’ve been faithful and I’ve been unfaithful. I’ve honored the Lord and many times I’ve been dishonoring. But if there’s anything I’ve known without a doubt is that Jesus LOVES me and He LOVES to Shepherd, which means He is committed to loving and leading me well.

One day when I see Jesus face to face I'll fall into His arms and say Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For believing in me. For always being by my side. For never giving up on me. For giving me more than I deserve. For healing my broken heart and for always being my safe place. You have loved me back to life through it all. All Glory to God!

~ Tammy Trent